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Politics

Nancy Pelosi Deports Undocumented Immigrants from Her Yard

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Several undocumented immigrants attempting to find work at Nancy and Paul Pelosi’s California vineyard have been arrested and ticketed for trespassing.  The seventeen-acre Napa Valley estate, surrounded by a border wall to deter entry, also contains one of Representative Pelosi’s three, multi-million dollar personal residences.  Witnesses at the scene claim Speaker Pelosi never directly confronted the male immigrants.  She could be heard, however, screaming from behind her locked doors, “get the hell off my land!  Didn’t you see the signs?  This is private property…mi hacienda!  I’m calling the police…la policia!”  The police soon arrived and began forcibly removing the men, and reporters soon followed, led by CNN’s Jim Acosta.  Describing the immigrants as “mostly women, with sick and crying children,” Mr. Acosta then attempted to question Speaker Pelosi.  After taking fifteen minutes to re-plaster her face, Ms. Pelosi returned with prepared remarks:  “I do not seek deportation for any of them.  I don’t want them to leave the United States, as that would be immoral.  They did, however, have to leave my yard, as this is, regrettably, not a sanctuary vineyard.”