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Politics

Progressives Tout Poll That ‘Guarantees’ ANY Democrat Will Defeat Trump in a ‘Landslide Victory’

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Confidence among Democrats is soaring as at least one poll indicates that, in a hypothetical matchup between any Democrat nominee and President* Trump, whomever the Democrats choose will effortlessly win the Presidency in November 2020.  Pundits point to the Socialist Ipso Facto Poll that assures a Democrat victoryThe poll was created, paid for and managed by the Communist Party USA, and relied singularly on Democrat respondents.  The poll’s margin of error is similar to the 2016 Presidential election polls at +/- 100%. 

Hillary Clinton, on a book tour in Idaho with her husband, former president Bill Clinton, reacted to the news with, “Yeah, sure.”  While Hillary was promoting her newest book on information technology security, entitled ‘IT On the Cheap,’ reporters found Bill Clinton at the Idaho ‘Tubers’ Convention getting overly amorous with Mrs. Potato Head.  In his own defense, Clinton stated, “I…well…I was led to believe this was a different convention…you say potAto, I say potato.” 

In other Clinton news, Cosmopolitan Magazine has hailed the Clintons as an ‘inspiration,’ and their marriage, ‘the epitome of selflessness and devotion.’